One Joke For You

Santa reported for his university final examination, which consists of " Yes/No" type questions. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing it, marking the answer sheet Yes for Heads and No for Tails. Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately flipping the coin, muttering and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches his and asks what is going on. Santa replies, "I'm rechecking my answers and I don't think I did very good." was that good?

A Joke

A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: "Dear Husband, I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant it?" The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter: "Dear Wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money." A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife: "Dear Husband, You wouldn't believe what happened: some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up all the back garden." The prisoner wrote another letter back: "Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the lettuce

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Animal Joke

On their wedding night the new couple are just about to do the deed when the wife tells her new husband that she has a confession."I lied when I told you I was a virgin. I have been with one other man" she tells her new hubby.The new husband asks if it was anyone he knows?. The wife answers ...well maybe! Husband asks who it was.The wife answers - it was Tiger Woods.Since the only other person his new bride every slept with was the famous Tiger Woods, he's not at all upset and they get down to it and do the honeymoon "thing". When finished, the husband gets out of bed and reaches for the telephone."What are you doing?" asked his bride."I'm calling for room service. After all that work I'm hungry!"The wife says, "Tiger wouldn't do that." "Really! Just what would TIGER do?" says the husband.Well we would do it again!Ok says the husband and jumps into the bed. This same thing happens two more times,after which the guy is pretty tired.So he drags himself out of bed and gets to the telephone.The wife says..you're not calling room service are you!!!! "NO, says the exhausted hubby"!"Well who are you calling then, she asks."I'm calling Tiger Woods...I want to see what par is for this hole!

Joke Link

find a good joke at the following link,
http://jokes.comedycentral.com/joke_of_day.aspx?adjustDate=&id=9966

Politics Joke

Musharraf comes to Delhi for a meeting with Vajpayee. After dinner, Vajpayee says to Musharraf: "Well Parvez, I don't know what you think of the members of your Cabinet, but mine are all bright and brilliant." "How do you know?" asks Musharraf "Oh well, it's simple", says Atal. " They all have to take special tests before they can be a minister. Wait a second". He calls Advani over and asks him "Tell me Advaniji, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?" "Ah, that's simple", says Advani, "it is me!" "Well done Advani", says Vajpayee and Musharraf is very impressed. He returns to Islamabad and wonders about the intelligence of the members of his Cabinet. He calls in his favourite member of cabinet and asks: "Tell me, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister? " He thinks and thinks and doesn't know the answer. "Can I think about it a bit further Sir? May I let you know tomorrow? ". "Of course", says Musharraf, "You've got 24 hours." He goes away, thinks as hard as he can, calls in his Cabinet Secretary, Chief Secretaries and Joint Secretaries, but no-one knows the answer.Twenty hours later, the member of Musharraf's cabinet is very worried-still no answer and only 4 hours to go. Eventually he says to himself: "I'll ask Bill Clinton, he's clever, he'll know the answer." He calls Clinton. "Mr.President", he says, "Tell me who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?" "Very simple", says Clinton, "It's me!" "Wonderful!" says the Cabinet member and hangs up. Jumping with joy realizing that he knows the answer, he rings Musharraf. "Sir, I've got the answer!". "What is it?" "It's Bill Clinton". "No, you idiot", says Musharraf, "It's Advani".

Joke website

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A joke

EK LADKI THI DEEWANI SI EK SUBJECT PE WO MARTI THI BOOKS UTHAKAR, CHASHMA LAGAKAR LIBRARY SE GUZARTI THI KUCHH PADNA THA SHAYAD USKO JAANE KISSE DARTI THI JAB BHI MILTI THI MUJHSE, MUJHSE POOCHHA KARTI THI ENGG. KAISE HOTI HAI YE ENGG. KAISE HOTI HAI AUR MEIN BAS ITNA KEH PATA THA "KITABEN KHULI HON YA HON BAND PADHAI LAST NIGHT HI HOTI HAI KAISE KAHOON MAIN O YAARA YE ENGG. AISE HOTI HAI""

Joke for job seekers

Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a young engineer fresh out of MIT what kind of a salary he was looking for. "In the neighborhood of $140,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years...say, a red Corvette?" "Wow! Are you kidding?" "Yeah, but you started it."

Doctor joke

An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling. "I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?" The doctor considered this for a moment, then said,"Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day went out in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun." The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle." "And do you know what happened?" the doctor queried. Dumbfounded, the old man replied "No." The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!" "That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man. "Someone else must have shot that bear." "That's kind of what I'm getting at..." replied the doctor

Dracula Joke

Once upon a time Dracula decided to carry some sort of a competition to see which is the finest bat to stand on his side. So all the bats were honored to take part. The rules were simple. Whichever bat drinks more blood, will be the winner? So the first bat goes and comes back after 10 minutes. Her mouth was full of blood. Dracula says: "Congratulations, how did you do that?" The bat said: "Do you see that tower? Behind it there is a house. I went in and sucked the blood of all the family". "Very good" said Dracula. The second bat goes and comes back after 5 minutes all her face covered in blood. Dracula astonished says, "How did you do that?" The bat replies " Do you see that tower? Behind it there is a school. I went in and drunk the blood of all the children". "Impressive" said Dracula. Now the third bat goes and comes back after three minutes literally covered in blood from top to toe. Dracula is stunned. "How on earth did you do that????" he asked. And the bat replies. "Do you see this tower?" Dracula replies with a yes. And the bat says "Well, I didn't".

One more joke

There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow. He decided to get some fast wheels to make up the difference. After shopping around a while, he decided that the Datson 240-Z was the car to get. So the snail goes to the nearest Datsun dealer and says he wants to buy the 240-Z, but he wants it repainted "240-S". The dealer asks, "Why 'S'?" The snail replies, "'S' stands for snail. I want everybody who sees me roaring past to know who's driving." Well, the dealer doesn't want to lose the unique opportunity to sell a car to a snail, so he agrees to have the car repainted for a small fee. The snail gets his new car and spent the rest of his days roaring happily down the highway at top speed. And whenever anyone would see him zooming by, they'd say "Wow! Look at that S-car go!"

Farmer Joke

Two farmers were in the local pub one night. "Its a funny thing," one of them said. "But none o'my cows are giving milk right now." "I had that," said the other. "Oi gave em all castor oil." "Castor Oil you says? I'll give that a try then." About a week later the same two farmers met up again in the pub. "You know those cows I tole you about," the first farmer said. "The ones that weren't giving any milk?" asked the second. "Tha's right," said the first. "Oi gave em all castor oil like you tole me and within a couple of days they all upped and died." "Ar," said the second farmer. "So did mine."